Love Always

Hello Cloudy Thighs followers,

It’s so great to be back at the computer and writing again! This is going to be more of a bloggy post, rather than my usual soap-box rants. I’ve been so busy and a bit emotionally drained the past few weeks, so writing has been a low priority on my list. First of all, I started going to community college! I decided to go back to school again to gain some new job skills and for my own general knowledge. Since I did not have time to take courses in Biology at Berkeley, I decided this was the best chance to take some courses focusing on Botany.  I have loved gardening since I was a child, but never took the time to pursue it academically. I plan to write a post about the benefits of Community College in the future, as I feel it is underrated.  I plan to go to grad school in the future for Sociology,  however for now I will focus on what I know interests me right now: plants. Who knows, maybe I’ll become a Botanist! 

Second, my state of California is still on fire. The air quality in Berkeley had been so terrible last week due to the fires in the Northern part of the state. On the first day of the smoke in Berkeley, I woke to red skies. It was apocalyptic and terrifying. There was an orange glow over everything and the air felt heavy and nauseating. You could not leave your home and all there was to do was wait. When you have depression and anxiety, this is torture. It was as if the normal feeling I had of being trapped in my head became my new reality. I became trapped in my home. I missed the sun and the wind. I missed seeing my friends from a distance. I missed being able to walk my cat. The first day the smoke cleared, I took a walk alone and listened to the chirping of birds. It made me so happy I actually started crying. I never knew how much I would miss those sounds. Unfortunately the fires in California are still raging. Others’ lives are still  being turned upside down. There is still ash laying in the streets, possibly the remains of someone’s home or wild animals that could not escape in time. In summary, my mental health had been suffering along with my state. 

Lastly, I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II. This new diagnosis has given me a lot to think about. I was angry at first, but then sad. If you have mental illness you are already dealing with daily stigmas from the media, health professionals and society. It felt as if I was, “ collecting all the illnesses.”  I am not ready to speak about my diagnosis in further detail, however I would like to say I am taking medication and in therapy. I am feeling so much better mentally and physically. There is something about finally getting proper help for your diagnosis, that just hits the spot.  

I am resting well and feeling a whole lot better! I will definitely put out more content in the upcoming week. I just want you to know there is a human behind these posts, who takes her mental health as a priority. 

Love Always, 

Cloudy Thighs 

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